An interactive portrait gallery · MMXXV
Chris Ilic
Golfer. Cosmic gamer. Statesman. Occasional cheeseburger. Thirty-two selected works, arranged in a single rotunda — and built entirely around one remarkably versatile subject.
I
The Rotunda
II — The Subject
A man of range.
From the driving range to the far reaches of the galaxy; from blizzard-proof three-piece suits to the floor of the State Senate; from the noble pursuit of the perfect cheeseburger to a two-in-the-morning selfie of uncertain purpose — Chris contains multitudes. This gallery exists for a single reason: the work deserved a proper hanging.
III — The Dossier
Fast Facts
A brief and scrupulously researched catalogue of the particulars.
-
01
Ideology
A devoted man of the Left who remains, to this day, wholly unconvinced by the science of climate change — a paradox he carries with the untroubled serenity of someone who has simply decided not to worry about it.
-
02
The Record
Holder of a personal and fiercely uncontested record: seventy pieces of tuna sushi consumed in a single, uninterrupted sitting. No committee has ratified it. No challenger has dared approach it.
-
03
The Measurements
Stands a compact five foot eight and carries a commanding two hundred and sixty pounds — a build the classical sculptors would have called heroic, and everyone else calls “built like a statesman.”
-
04
The Conversion
Once a proud College Republican — until the fateful afternoon he was bested in formal debate by a boy of fifteen. Defeated but illuminated, he crossed the aisle that very day, and has caucused with the Democrats ever since.
-
05
Public Service
A founding luminary of the Creative Community Party on the storied Taktruz SMP, where his gift for coalition-building first discovered its blocky, pixelated stage.
-
06
Lineage
Blood brother to the notorious elbasspresidente — a name still invoked in reverent, faintly fearful whispers wherever the legend of the Breakout Room Beef is told.
IV — The Games Room
The Arcade
Three diversions, each conducted entirely at the subject's expense.